My room smells like vodka and shame
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
