How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he fucked my hip out of place.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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