check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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