we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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