I could make wine with my vomit
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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