I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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