K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
