everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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