I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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