when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
