Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
