did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
