I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
