My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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