call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
