Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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