After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
