How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
