So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
