Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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