Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
