I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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