Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
