if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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