There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
