i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
