Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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