I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
