Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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