singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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