we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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