They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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