i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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