I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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