I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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