So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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