Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
