Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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