That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
