thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
