READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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