A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
