I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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