Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
