You really coming over, don't trick.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
