Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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