am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
