he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
