I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
