yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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